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Closely aligned to this formality is the obligation to use the "Sie" form of address with people you don't know that well. This holds true for both work and social situations. Most Germans still feel somewhat uncomfortable using or being addressed by "Du" with those they are only casually acquainted with.
Luckily, most Germans under the age of 60 have loosened up on this considerably in recent years, but it's always safest to wait until your German colleague or acquaintance (especially if they are older than you) suggests that the two of you can switch over to the "Du" basis. These days, it can happen within weeks rather than months or years, as was often the case in the past.
After you have developed friendly relationships with people here, you may find yourself invited to their homes. This should be a pleasant experience: Germans like hosting others and the rules of etiquette are rather uncomplicated. For instance, it is always advisable to bring along a small gift when invited to someone's home. Flowers, a bottle of wine, or some small souvenir from your homeland are considered most appropriate. (But don't bring roses; many Germans still associate this with romantic intentions and such a gift can cause a bout of confusion.) Also, do inform your hosts beforehand if there are certain foods (especially pork) or drinks that you cannot have.
Germans, as a rule, tend to be very fond of pork and are not always aware of the dietary restrictions others have. Plus, alcoholic beverages are a key part of most dinner parties here. They are happy to adjust the menu for guests, but let them know beforehand to avoid embarrassment at the table.
Another subtle difference that can cause uneasiness, especially when you're invited to someone's home, is the matter of the toilet door. In complete contrast to many other societies, Germans prefer keeping that door closed when not in use.
Leaving it open can be very offensive to some Germans. So how do you know whether that little room is occupied? (And in Germany, it usually is not the bathroom, but a separate little room.) You knock, preferably softly.
"Another subtle difference that can cause uneasiness, especially when you're invited to someone's home, is the matter of the toilet door. In complete contrast to many other societies, Germans prefer keeping that door closed when not in use."
I never knew that to be something unique and special....does the toilet in other countries not smell so they would want to close the door?? Have to think about that...
Hi Carlina,
We posted your comment today. I just wanted to say that that chapter on German habits was not easy to write and we are always in danger of offending someone. But when you are new in a country, there are a variety of things that appear to be different to your home country. We tried to write that chapter from this perspective.
David Hart
Publisher
Newcomers Network
Dear David,
I did not feel in the least offended, I really just never had realised, that this was such a german specialty. I have lived abroad for 13 years in various countries- that's why I consider myself as a newcomer, too, and see my home country now a little bit with an inner distance. So this chapter is
quite interesting (and sometimes very funny!!!!), as it points out things I could probably never really have put into words about my own culture.
Keep on writing!
with best regards
Carlina